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GáborParticipantHello, always talk in you stutter-free zones as much as you can. If you don’t stutter while you’re whispering, you should definitely do that. Later, when you gain confidence in your speaking abilities and build positive speech memories, you can start to read aloud or even reading to others, too.
GáborParticipantHello, you should use more crutches for your name (even the same one could work but with different inserted words/sounds, e.g. “SooooPhilismyname”, “IiiiiiamPhil” etc.), that way stuttering can’t “outsmart” your one and only crutch you use at the moment.
GáborParticipantI was away for a long time, so I thought it’s time to return. 🙂
At summer I had a part-time job as a bartender where I had to communicate a lot. While I wouldn’t say I didn’t have any speech incidents (partly because of being tired and also some drinking) I think I managed to do my job with good feedbacks from others. Then this job ended and I became lazy and abandon speech practice (also got Covid in October so practicing was much harder because of constant coughing).
It’s interesting because even though I didn’t practice for a longer period of time, my speech was still OK (much better than 1-2 years before). And after a small amount of practice (like reading aloud for like 15 minutes a day), my speech is almost immediately improved. My mindset is also changed: I don’t view stuttering anymore as something that’s shameful or making me inferior – it’s just a habit (that I don’t need), nothing more.
I can even talk to others openly about stuttering or make fun out of it in a positive way. A recent example: I was at a retro party, talked to some friends and also to strangers and a friend of mine told me (when a Scatman John song started to play – he was a stuttering singer) that he always tried to imitate the singer as a kid. And I replied that me too, but I was successful with it, too. 😀
So, I’m back, practicing again and reading the new book, Lee also wrote me emails many times to talk on Skype, for which I’m very grateful and we already scheduled a meeting. I’ll also try to participate in more SAM meetings in the future.
GáborParticipantThanks, Javi, Lee sent an email about his new book and I’ve already purchased it on Amazon. Looking forward to read it. 🙂
GáborParticipantHello, I have a question about the book: is there a new, 2021 edition of it? I watched a coaching session on YouTube and you mentioned an improved (but still 3d edition) book. I’ve checked on Amazon but can only see the book I’ve already purchased as an ebook in 2020.
July 15, 2021 at 12:32 pm in reply to: Curing will relieve you of burden but won’t necessarily make you happier #30327GáborParticipantGreat point and I agree, many PWS think if they wouldn’t stutter they could make lots of money with their dream job, they’d have a lots of friends, they could approach their dream partner easily etc., but for the most part, it’s only an excuse. If they’d become PWSS, they’d most likely find the next excuse to achieve the things I just mentioned.
And stuttering less becomes the new normal. At first, I was very happy when I could speak during a team meeting at my job. Now, it’s just a daily routine, and not exciting at all.
GáborParticipantCrutches are only one leg of the stool (besides reading aloud/hearing fluency and mind training).
When I did speech therapy, I went there for 45 minutes in every two weeks and to be honest, I haven’t practice as much as I should have.
GáborParticipantGreat tip, thank you!
I made the mistake that I’ve read some depressing books aloud (e.g. science fiction like Metro 2033 – I mean I like these kind of books, too, but not really motivating/uplifting to use them for speech practice :D)
And I’ve just bought Atomic Habits, so I’ll read it aloud.
GáborParticipantGáborParticipantHi, I think that practicing in safe situations, e.g. reading aloud alone and also private coaching sessions (which have a tremendous value, since someone else is also rooting for you and believes in you), helped me to slowly change my self-identity from a PWS to a PWSS.
You should constantly expand your comfort zone, too, but only gradually and with great caution. I also celebrate even my smallest victories (that’s why I opened this topic in the past), while not focusing on my speech-related “accidents”. I learn from them, examine what went wrong and how could I improve next time, then try to quickly forget them.
GáborParticipantI had a HUGE speech success today.
I went to my annual occupation health examination (I don’t know the exact name in English), and since I started my job, it was written on my certification paper, that “a job role that requires good verbal communication skills is not recommended”. Today I went to the examination again, talked to the doctors a little bit, then one of them finally asked me about this. She was very nice and reluctant to ask this out of politeness, but also a bit confused, since she told me that I didn’t appear speech-disabled at all (“maybe you were just anxious the last time”). I told them that I actually stuttered but I worked on it and it’s not a problem anymore. So needless to say, they deleted that comment from my certificate.
May 28, 2021 at 10:26 am in reply to: Do you get any positive feedback from family members/friends about your speech? #29929GáborParticipantThanks for the replies!
“The only opinion that matters to me is my opinion about myself”
Then why a “bad incident” is defined whether OTHER PEOPLE would perceive us speech-disabled or not?:)
GáborParticipantI’m trying, I’m trying… 😀
May 25, 2021 at 10:36 am in reply to: Do you get any positive feedback from family members/friends about your speech? #29910GáborParticipantBTW I talked to my mom and mentioned this. She said that she noticed it, but added that on one hand, people usually don’t talk about something that is not a problem anymore, and on the other hand, it’s indeed rude to mention something like this (just like losing weight).
GáborParticipant1-2 hours with a certified hypnotist for money < 100+ hours of affirmations for free
(even though I still don’t like affirmations, I must admit they definitely help :D)
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