Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
JavierModeratorHi Sun. I totally understand you. I’ve never been 100% sure I was doing my SHT or ASTs right, as I’ve never done that before, and I’ve never been hypnotised before. But I kept on doing it AS BEST AS I COULD. And a couple of weeks later, maybe 3 weeks later, I started feeling the results of my mind training treatments.
So, even if you’re not sure you’re doing it right, do it as good as you can, and keep on doing it. The results of these treatments take their time to show up, but they work.
In the upcoming SAM meetings you can always ask the speaker how they did the ASTs and/or SHT. You can learn a lot by doing that.JavierModeratorHi Sun and Adam,
yes, it is normal to feel those fears, especially as a PWS. We have been stuttering for such a long time…. It is normal. But we must believe that we are going to stop stuttering, and it won’t happen in 1 or 2 days, as we all know here. But you will get there. In my case, it took me 8 months to become a PWSS. And a lot longer if we speak about the fears. I actually still have stuttering fears, but they are very weak, and there are days I don’t have any.
And the more I work on it, the less likely I’ll have these fears. And even if that happens, they will be so weak, so insignificant….JavierModeratorAdam, I’d suggest you to change that sentence you mentioned in you comment (“well I guess weāll see if the crutch works”) with this one (or a similar one):
“I’ve used the Crutches before in this situation (or a similar one), and I succeeded. If I have done it before, I can surely do it again now.”Do you agree with this statement? You have used the Crutches before, and you’ve succeeded so many times? There’s no reason to believe that you will fail this time. You have avoided bad incidents before, you can do it again, no doubt about that.
Hope to see you tomorrow at the SAM meeting!
JavierModeratorHi Sun! All of us have been stuttering for a lot of years, experiencing bad incidents and the humilliation of stuttering and appearing speech disabled in front of so many people and so many times, that we fear speaking, we fear stuttering every time we open our mouths to say something.
Most of our Success Stories have stopped stuttering in just a few months. This is the time that has taken us to learn to stop appearing speech disabled. But the stuttering fears, which have been with us for such a long time (some of us, since we started speaking), won’t leave us so easily, unfortunately.So, when we become PWSS, we know how to avoid stuttering, but we still have anxiety and stuttering fears. So, our next goal is to reject fears and learn to love to speak. Section 16 of Lee’s “Stuttering & Anxiety Self-Cures” explains our next goals in this new stage. “Speech Anxiety To Public Speaking” book and video course should also be studied once we become PWSS.
If we follow the advice given there, we will learn how to reject fears (mind training is very important here) and learn to love to speak. Achieving these goals is easier than to stop stuttering, but it takes longer.
In my case, I can say that I sometimes have stuttering fears and get nervous, but a lot less than a year ago. And these fears or threats, they are getting weaker and weaker, and they are less and less frequent, every month, every week.
The faster you learn to speak using only Crutch 13, the sooner you’ll get there.
I hope I answered your question, Sun.
JavierModeratorThe number of PWS who come to us, from some of the mentioned programs and others, and say that they didn’t help them, you’d be amazed.
Anyway, we’re happy if the PWS/PWSS are happy and if they find methods that help them be happy (and even better if you stop stuttering). That’s what matters and why we do what we do.
Posting negative comments does the exact opposite for the one who posts them and the readers. You are not helping anybody doing such things, and evern more so when you clearly haven’t mastered this method, especially the Crutches and the mind training, Adam. Lee Lovett has told you this several times.
JavierModeratorhahaha I can be quite sentimental some times š
JavierModeratorThanks Sun. I think that what I said about the mindset is crucial. Stuttering has made most of us be depressed, to suffer, etc, and we usually are too hard with ourselves. Changing that mindset will not only make you happier, it will expedite your self-cure.
JavierModeratorHi Sun,
I try not to interrupt people when they speak, but as you said, people usually speak like that. So, I guess it depends on the situation. The way I see it, as long as you’re not being rude, it’s fine.Speaking immediately upon feeling the urge basically means to speak without giving time to your brain to plan your words.
A clear example of NOT doing this (therefore, holding back) would be, for example, if you asked me, “what’s your favourite season of the year,?”, and before replying, my mind started thinking: “okay, I am going to say that “autumn is my favourite season”, and I might stutter on “favourite”. And then you might reply me back, “and why?”, so if that happens, I would have to say “because the temperature is not too cold nor too hot, and the range of colors of the leaves makes the trees look beautiful.” and I might get stuck on “trees” and “temperature”.
So we must not do that. We must simply start speaking, and focus on using the Crutches (linking our words and being passionate and smiling, for example), and maybe simply having images of those trees in the fall.
I hope you get my point…
JavierModeratorHi Sun,
When I do my auto-suggestion or self-hypnosis treatments, I visualize myself speaking fluently, confidently, calmly while I repeat my affirmations.In my opinion, The Speech Anxiety To Public Speaking book explains the mind-training part a lot better than Lee’s Stuttering book, if you’re curious.
And this Saturday, in the SAM meeting you will be able to ask us, the Panel of Ex-Stutterers, all your questions there too. Hope to see you there š
JavierModeratorGreat job Adam! You have proven to yourself that you can do it. Celebrate this success, remember it as many times as possible. The next time you have to face a similar situation, remember that you have already done it successfully, so there’s nothing to be worried about, you can definitely do it again, and it will be easier. This is how we expand our comfort zones. Very soon saying your name won’t bother you at all.
JavierModeratorHi Sun. Thanks a lot. It’s reallt great to know that you are finding these videos so helpful. This comment has definitely made my day.
As a PWS I tried to watch one video every day. It helped me a lot.
At the beginning I used to forget to use the Crutches when talking. Then I started developping ways not to forget it. One of those was to have post its all over the screen of my computer, reminding me to slow down, or to speak softly, for example.
I also gave challenges to myself, such as: for the next 10 minutes, I’m going to use C-1 when I speak; for the next 10 minutes, the same but with C-2, and so on.JavierModeratorHi Sun,
I’m glad you found it helpful, that’s why we’re here šPlease do keep us posted with your progress! I look forward to seeing you in our next SAM meeting!
JavierModeratorHi Sun,
I am going to write comments in bold, in your post, to answer to all your questions in a more effective way:Crutch 1 is the perfect crutch to practice while reading aloud. Thatās for sure. But when I was doing so, Iāve encountered a few questions.
I tried to skip as many syllables as I can in one page. That’s a great way to master the Crutches. But don’t do it with only that Crutch, use it with all the Crutches: one Crutch per page, on as many words as possible. One issue is that it really takes time. I need about 20 min to finish a page. It is normal? Or itās just because I havenāt become proficient? Also I feel no passion in reading at this speed. When I read aloud using C-1, it takes me around the same time… Can it be that you take time to plan the word you’re going to say instead? Try to do it more immediately, drop 2 syllables (or more) or letters if needed. Have you heard Lee drop letters in his videos, or in some of the SAM meetings? (W)e (C)an (D)rop (T)he ((F)irst (L)etter of our (W)ords and (K)eep on (T)alking at the (S)ame (Sp)eed.
The second issue is that now I can skip the first syllable of around 90% of the time. But I wonder if it is really necessary even if I know itās for practice. If you stop practicing it, you might forget how to do it properly, and when you need it, you might not be able to use it. Dropping the first syllable works for perfectly for some words, without causing any confusions, usually those longer words with multiple syllables such as (c)onversation and (h)istory. But for some other words, it could really make listeners confused, such as āin my (te)ensā. For these words, even if I practiced, itās not very likely that I say them in real life conversations. Yes, I know I can say āin my ens-teensā. Give it a try. Most people sometimes mispronounce a word, and then they say it again properly. If you use that “o-do” that, people will see it that way, so nobody will care. I have done it plenty of times and I’ve never seen strange faces in the people I was speakign too. And I think it is always preferable to use C-1 than to stutter. Itās just not that desirable. Why not use other crutches? So, my question is that is it a good idea that I only practice those I would use in reality, and try on summarize the common points and be really familiar with those words? I encourage you to master ALL THE CRUTCHES. Now you have your favourite ones (Crutches 4 and 10 were mines), and you use them the most. And that’s fine. But don’t you agree with me that having 12 (13) alternatives is always better than having 1 or 2? The more alternatives you know to avoid a problem, the better! And trust me, they won’t make you sound funny. Actually Crutches 8-12 are going to improve your speech.
The last question is that Lee mentioned we should master crutches one by one. I am very fond of C-1, and I think itās just so cool. But so far I make little progress on apply it to real conversations. I guess this one is just not that beginner-friendly, or am I being impatient? But I really want to see improvements as soon as possible. Should I stick to C-1? Or try multiple crutches and see how they works? Any recommendations on the sequence of choosing crutches? Sun, as I said before, master all the Crutches. One way to do it is reading aloud, using one Crutch per page, on as many words as possible. Crutch 11 is a Crutch that everyone of us should master, no matter where our speech is, it is going to improve it. Be passionate, smile, these will also help you achieve that goal.
Thank you so much!
JavierModeratorGreat suggestions, John. I used to do similar things to those too. For example, when I was at work, I challenged myself, for example, to use Crutch 1 in the next 5-10 minutes, even if I don’t need to. So the idea is not to use it on every word, but to use it whenever I feel like it. For the follwoing 5-10 minutes, I’d do the same with Crutch 2, and so on. It is a great way to practice it.
JavierModeratorHi Mirko,
I think I understand what you mean, because I’ve been through similar situations. As a PWS I words starting with Ps and Ts were my worst nightmare. I later found out that these are just fears. When speaking, my brain planned my words before I said them, and whenever I planned a word starting with those letters, I knew I was going to have problems, and that’s exactly what happened.
When I found the Crutches, C-4 saved me from these problematic words.
I used to stutter a lot more with my grandfather (don’t ask me why, he’s the most loving person you can meet), so one day I decided to expand that “comfort zone”, and I went with him to take the dogs for a walk, and I chose to use this opportunity. so I used Crutch 4 and then linked all the words until my next full stop. The result: 1h of fluent speech. The next time I met with my granfather, the fears were almost gone. I proved to myself that I could do it.
I suggest you to do something similar with those letters/words: expand that comfort zone. How? You have to have one goal: DO NOT STUTTER (on those words). There are no other goals. You can start all your sentences with “aaaa….” if you need to, like I did in the situation I just described above. Or you can use any other Crutch. Practice it and let us know how it goes!
Have a great week! -
AuthorPosts
