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JavierModeratorHi again Nick. It was great having you in the SAM meeting too. Sure, ask me anything you’d like about self-hypnosis. You can even post your questions about this subject (or any other) in the Forum. Most likely there will be others with the same doubts, so you would be helping others this way too. And of course, you can also ask them in the SAM meetings, especially the ones held on the first Saturday of the month (just like today, you can ask the coaches all your questions); that’s the purpose of those meetings: to ask, to listen to others and to learn.
JavierModeratorHi Nicholas! Great to have you here. My name is Javier, I live in Madrid (Spain) and I’m one of the Certified Speech Coaches! I’m sorry to hear about all the stuff you’re going through due to this horrible pandemic situation. The good news is that you already know the things you need to you, you just have to “remember” them. Work harder on your mind-training to avoid the environment control your thoughts, and if you haven’t tried self-hypnosis, do it! I’ve been doing SHT for more than a year and it really helps me, not only with my speech.
We all hope to see you on Saturdays at the Speech Club meetings. In case you don’t know about it:Have a great weekend!
JavierModeratorI agree with you. I used to stutter the most at work and on the phone. But as you said, I’ve met PWS who stuttered more with their family, or with certain friends, or who stutter more in their mother language.
In order to solve it, I took those harder situations as a challenge, as a game, and I challenged myself to speak fluently in those situations by using even more the Crutches, the only goal was to speak fluently. I succeeded and now I don’t view those situations as challenging anymore.
JavierModeratorI consider a PWS to be a person who has bad incidents regularly. And by bad incidents I mean those speech incidents that if a stranger saw/heard it, he/she would clearly identify as a problem in our speech. The most common manifestations of these bad incidents are too many and unnecessaty repetitions of syllables or words, blocks, grimacing, undue silences, or a combination of all the three.
JavierModeratorHi Anand! That’s fantastic!! You’re on the right track, and you’re going to continue improving if you keep working on your speech. For preentations, Crutch 11 is one of the best, definitely. You can go to the Video Section of WSSA, and search coaching sessions with filters, and there’s one tag that is “presentations”. That should help you a lot, as the advice we give to a certain PWS might also help you.
There are also plenty of filters you can use, and there are +1000 videos, so you can learn a lot from them.
And of course, you can always get private coaching.JavierModeratorIt took me a while to avoid blanking and realise that there was actually another option: becoming a Speech Cop, stop forcing the word, and using a Crutch instead. As Gábor says, practice, practice and practice.
But there is something else that lso helped me: taking it as a challenge. I’m not going to stutter, no matter what. I’m going to use the Crutches, if needed in every single word.
This approach helped me a lot.November 3, 2020 at 10:40 am in reply to: Hi there. I’m Francois from Cape Town, South Africa. #28113JavierModeratorHi Francois. All SAM meetings are recorded, yes, so in case you want to watch them, you can the “Community” section of WSSA and click on “Speech Club”. Over there you will be able to watch them. Here’s the link to make it easier for you 🙂
JavierModeratorExactly! But as long as we don’t perceive it as words. When we say “ideas”, we refer to the main idea, not words. For example, when I coach people, I only have one idea in my mind: “help you”. That’s it! And I begin speaking, focusing on that idea, and Crutches, and being passionate, loving, friendly….. All of them positive emotions, leaving no space for negative ones.
JavierModeratorAs you said, Gábor, it is always best to use the present tense and avoid negatives.
But as we want to avoid planning words, be careful with the word “message”, as it can imply words. I would change that word with “emotions”, “being passionate”, “speaking more slowly”, “speaking like a King”….JavierModeratorHi again Cindy! If I’d be you, I’d practice more Crutch 11, speaking like a King. Take your time, speak more slowly. There’s no need to rush. Take your time. The employer will actually appreciate it, and prefer that compared to somebody who speaks really fast, without pauses, in a hesitant way.
And ask questions, show interest in him/her, how long has he/she been working there, what’s the thing she likes most of this company….. They will like it a lot!
Have you read “Speech Anxiety to Public Speaking?” and watched the video course? You can find very good suggestions for these cases there.
You don’t need to be nervous, this interview and the employer represent no risk to you, they are not going to do you any harm… So stop worrying about yourself and your insecurities, and focus on them, find something likeable from them, ask questions, as I said before, smile, be friendly and loving…. That’s what I would do.
Of course, I would also do some research about this company and the position you’re applying to.JavierModeratorHi Gábor. It seems like your speech is continuing to improve, that’s awesome!! I agree with your opinion, and I would add to that, “…but I will continue trying to improve it”. Mainly because it will make us enjoy more all our conversations.
October 26, 2020 at 3:28 pm in reply to: Hi there. I’m Francois from Cape Town, South Africa. #28033JavierModeratorHi Francois. I think you made the maths wrong…. Spain and South Africa share the same time, and for me these meeting begin at 15:00h.
JavierModeratorWell, I haven’t had much experience with these kind of interviews, luckily I guess. So I can’t offer much advice. But I think that a book that you might find very helpful is:
“How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling”, by Frank Bettger. I’ve learnt a lot from this book and Dale Carnegie’s. They were actually friends and share a similar mindset.JavierModeratorHi Janeel! I’m glad to hear that it is helping you. I used similar ones:
“I love to speak in ALL situations”
“The sound of my voice relaxes me”
Depending on which situations you identify as “pressured”, you could use an affirmations such as “I enjoy speaking in XXXX situation”.Those are some ideas that might help you too.
JavierModeratorExactly! I always recommend to exaggerate the Crutches because of that reason. We’re not used to use the Crutches, so in order to use them properly, we need to exaggerate them. For example, if we have to insert a pause of 1 or 2 seconds, we should try to make them last 3-4 seconds. In our heads it will seem like an extremely long pause, but these pauses will actually last 1 or 2 seconds. If we’d aimed for 1 or 2 seconds, the pause would have lasted 0.5 or 1 second. Not enough.
The same happens with the other Crutches. -
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