The Fallacy of Accepting Stuttering
After having coached many PWS (People Who Stutter), I have concluded that we have all being told the exact same things regarding curing our stutters. We are told:
- “You should accept your stutter and be proud of it as it makes you who you are.”:
But I never liked who I was when I stuttered. I was less confident, I did not stand tall, I did not always say what was on my mind, I could not find a job as easily as fluent speakers, I came across as less smart than most fluent speakers, I was introverted and did not enjoy speaking to people and getting to know anybody. Why would I want to accept this as my life when I was quite capable of changing it?
- “There is no cure for stuttering, you just have to accept that you stutter and accept that you will stutter for the rest of your life.”:
I could not accept this. I did not stutter around my family, close friends and at other random times. This meant that stuttering was not a physical issue, it was all in the mind. And as we all know; the mind is capable of being influenced and remapped. If I was capable of being fluent at certain times, why I was I not capable of being fluent all the time? I have been told things so absurd such as “I stutter because there is a physical block in my chest”. Again, if there is a physical block in our chest, why does it only make us stutter at certain times and not at others?
- “People who stutter can have lives that are just as fulfilling as fluent speakers have.”:
This is the statement I disagree with most. I do not know about you guys, but I was in a dead-end job that I absolutely hated because nobody else would hire me due to my stutter. Do you blame them? Would you hire somebody who stutters? I was friends with people I did not necessarily like but who I was friends with purely because they accepted my stutter. I did not attend social gatherings as I knew that I had to say my name. How can you lead a fulfilling life when every decision you make is based on whether you will have to introduce yourself and/or how much speaking there will be in any given situation?
Stuttering can be cured
The main point that I am trying to make is that stuttering CAN be cured. If one lost a limb, then of course it would be great to accept it, as we are incapable of growing limbs. Dwelling on something that you cannot change would be detrimental for our mental health. You would have to make the best of that situation and adapt to not having a limb.
But why would you want to adapt your life to having a stutter, when with a bit of work, you can be fluent within a matter of months? Is it the fear of not being able to use stuttering as an excuse to live a powerless life? Is it the fear that with self-curing, comes the responsibility to make a difference in the world and no longer being able to live behind the shield of “I can’t do that, I stutter”?
Whatever your reason is for hanging on to your stutter, join us and we will show you a thousand reasons why you should let it go.