The Smiling Crutch

[Anonymous]

What do you guys think about the smiling crutch? Many PWS have told me that they find it extremely difficult to use it because they have to constantly remind themselves to use it as smiling while speaking is not a habit for them as speaking always caused fear and anxiety.

Basically, they believe that it is one of the harder crutches to use as they do not feel calm and relaxed while speaking as fluent speakers do. Let’s talk about if you agree/disagree with this and the reasons therefore.

We can delve a bit deeper into this and figure out how to help others make it easier to use.

[Javier]

I find it extremely effective, Tasneem. I remember using this Crutch before making a phone call (I used to stutter even more when speaking on the phone), and it made it so much easier. Smiling before and during the phone call, and repeating my affirmations mentally, until the other person answered the phone has helped me a lot.

[Anonymous]

Thank you Javier. I never thought about using it when I am on the phone. That is brilliant!

[Javier]

The damn phone!! I used to hate it, so I tried to use as many tricks/Crutches when I had to use it.

Even now, before speaking to strangers, I try to smile, and it helps a lot. Being enthusiastic is also of great help.

Whenever I go to a bar or a restaurant, I do it with a smile on my face and try to be as friendly as possible with the waiter. Now, they all greet me in a really friendly way whenever I go to these places (even if I’ve only been twice) hahaha. Sometimes I even get invited to a beer or two 😉

[Anonymous]

Me too! Do you know how often people tell me how vibrant I am? And it is definitely due to the way that I now speak. As mentioned before, a colleague once told me that I am “thrilling”. I hope he meant it in a good way! Lol

[Javier]

I hope they meant tto say it in a good way too hahahaha

[Gábor]

That’s the only crutch I don’t really get. In the past I usually stuttered even when I was smiling as I told a story, while being enthusiastic.

[Javier]

That’s because you’re actually planning your words most likely.

In any case, this are the 2 main ways how smiling has helped me, and continues to help me:

Before speaking to a stranger (for example, before asking for info at an office, store, etc). Before you approach them, start smiling and try not to think your words.

It has also helped me and made the other crutches easier to use. I rarely use that Crutch alone, I always combine it with other ones.

[Anonymous]

Gabor,

Continue using this crutch. Just because it did not work for you before, does not mean that it will not work for you if you keep practising. Rome was not built in a day.

To be frank, I used to think the smiling crutch was a waste of my time, especially if I was not in the mood to be smiling. But I found that when I smiled, I calmed down, thereby lessening my anxiety over speaking, and reducing my fears/stuttering. I will be the first to admit that it is one of the more difficult crutches to master because as PWS, we have gone our whole lives hating the way we speak and hating having to speak.

In our minds, speaking was rarely accompanied by feelings of joy and happiness, so to suddenly smile while speaking feels extremely unnatural. This will change with time. Keep being a speech cop, reminding yourself to smile, even when your fear is through the roof, and after a couple of weeks you will notice the huge effect it has on our minds and our speech.

[Javier]

Really well explained!!

[Author]

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