Speak immediately upon feeling the urge

[Sun]

Shall I do so when other people are speaking? For sure it’s not very polite, but when I observe other’s conversations, I notice that this happens all the time. Maybe it’s just normal?
Coaches, how do you deal with this? Any advice? Thank you!

[Javier]

Hi Sun,
I try not to interrupt people when they speak, but as you said, people usually speak like that. So, I guess it depends on the situation. The way I see it, as long as you’re not being rude, it’s fine.

Speaking immediately upon feeling the urge basically means to speak without giving time to your brain to plan your words.

A clear example of NOT doing this (therefore, holding back) would be, for example, if you asked me, “what’s your favourite season of the year,?”, and before replying, my mind started thinking: “okay, I am going to say that “autumn is my favourite season”, and I might stutter on “favourite”. And then you might reply me back, “and why?”, so if that happens, I would have to say “because the temperature is not too cold nor too hot, and the range of colors of the leaves makes the trees look beautiful.” and I might get stuck on “trees” and “temperature”.

So we must not do that. We must simply start speaking, and focus on using the Crutches (linking our words and being passionate and smiling, for example), and maybe simply having images of those trees in the fall.

I hope you get my point…

[Sun]

Thank you Javier! You answered my question very well. And I like those trees in the fall.

[Javier]

hahaha I can be quite sentimental some times 😉

[Anonymous]

Sun, speaking immediately does NOT mean interrupting people. When somebody else is speaking, you should not have the urge to speak because you should be listening to the other person. If you are concentrating on what the other person is saying, then you will not feel the need to speak until they are done. Once they are finished speaking, that is when you will speak immediately, as you will then realize that it is now your turn to speak.

If somebody else is speaking and you are thinking of how to reply, how can you be concentrating on what they are saying? Your brain is not capable of thinking of 2 things at once.

This is a classic PWS. We get so caught up in what we are going to say because we are so afraid we might not be able to say it, so we feel we need to plan what we will say next. Ask any fluent person if they plan what they are going to say next, and they will answer with NO!!!

Does this make sense? Let me know if you need further clarification.

[Sun]

Leah, that’s really a head-on blow to me, and I appreciate it so much. You have a really sharp insight. Now I see where my problem is, thank you!

[Doug Nelson]

Hi Sun,
I’m Doug and I’m a coach also, so I’m going to give you another idea to ponder. I still sometimes have a hard time on first feared words. Just like Leah and Javier said, speaking immediately doesn’t mean to interrupt. It means to NOT BE FEARFUL of speaking. Don’t drop off stutter’s cliff. It means, “ If I can say one word anytime, I can say any word anytime”.
I beat mine with auto suggestions at least twice daily, I do three because I was a terrible case and reading out loud from Lee’s book at least an hour a day.
I am sure that you have heard it before but you haven’t heard it from me, unless you have seen my videos. Keep up the good work!
Doug

[Sun]

Thank you Doug, for your cheerful message! I will work hard!

[Author]

Posts