How someone becomes a PWSS?

[Gábor]

When you stopped stuttering, it was a gradual process of many weeks/months or you just suddenly realized, “Oh, I don’t stutter anymore”?

Did you have any relapses or bad days related to stuttering? Did you have any fear of relapsing?

Did you have to use affirmations and/or daily speech practice after you didn’t stutter anymore?

What were the reactions of others (especially loved ones) who knew you as a PWS? Did they notice the change instantly or only after awhile?

[Anonymous]

Gabor,

It was gradual, every day I realized that in certain situations that I used to stutter in before, I no longer stuttered in. The day finally came where I thought to myself “Hey, I haven’t stuttered in weeks”, I did not even realize it!

There was one time after I cured (about 2 months afterwards) where I went through something traumatic and for 2 days I was allowing myself to stutter. It was not bad, in fact, nobody noticed, but I noticed. I spoke to Lee and he reminded me about the crutches and that nothing can make us stutter. So after 2 days of bad speech, everything went back to normal.

I do not think I ever feared relapsing because I knew that no matter what happened, I would never stutter again if I chose not to. It makes no sense that somebody can be fluent for weeks and then suddenly stutter. This means that you are capable of not stuttering and if you stutter again, you chose to.

I do not use speech practice or mind training anymore, but I DO read-aloud for FUN, and on those days, I feel more confident with my speech, but it is not necessary.

Some of my workmates told me that I was a bit different, one person even said that I dressed differently. Nobody actually ever said it was my speech. Which proves to me even more that NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR SPEECH!!! People do not care when you stop stuttering, in fact, because it is gradual, nobody notices it. Perhaps if you stuttered one day and did not stutter the next, that would be more noticeable, but as I mentioned above, that is not how the method works.

[Gábor]

Thanks for the feedback!

NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR SPEECH

I had some experiences, where people mocked/rejected me (as an adult only behind my back, while back in elementary and high school it was more open) or thought I have some mental disability. But it can be the result that I’ve always felt shame and inferiority because of my stuttering. I’ve heard about many PWS who work as prison guards or in military as high-ranking officers and I bet no one wants or dares to mock them – because they aren’t making a problem out of stuttering and they don’t hide this aspect of their personality.

[Anonymous]

Gabor,

People who mock you about your stuttering are BORED WITH THEIR LIVES!!! People who feel the need to make fun of other people to feel better about themselves are sad and pathetic. Why would you care about their opinions in the first place? Do you think somebody who truly cared about you would ever make fun of you? NO! Because good people do not make fun of other people.

I do not know about you, but I have WAY too many things going on in my life than to worry about other people’s speech. Can you imagine how bored I would have to be to speak about somebody else’s speech? I hope I never end up that pathetic! Let me rather say that MOST people do not care about your speech, and the ones who do, are not worth another second of your time.

Forget it and move on! I must say that growing up, I was NEVER teased about my stutter, even the girls from high school never mocked me or laughed at me. I guess that was also a major reason that I never became a severe stutterer because people never acknowledged my stutter? In fact, my Afrikaans teacher used to be so proud of me after I stuttered my way through a speech because she knew it took guts to stand up there in front of a classroom of people and stutter. THOSE are the people you need to surround yourself with! Do not even think about it for another second. You have way more important things to worry about, like self-curing and living your new powerful stutter-free life!!!

[Gábor]

I guess there’s some cultural differences, because in school, even some teachers mocked my stuttering. 😀

But I agree with your message and thanks for that!

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. All I can say is focus on your stutter-free future! You are doing great! See you for our session later!

[Gábor]

To be honest, that was like 25 years ago (back in the 90’s) and it also wasn’t a daily thing, but I have some bad memories.

I don’t really have big speech blocks recently, but my speech is very choppy. Is it possible that it’s a stage in the healing process? Did you have any similar experiences?

[Javier]

Hi Gábor. The same happened to me. After some months, I managed to avoid the blocks that I used to have, but as you said, my speech was still “choppy”.
My suggestion, and what I did, was to focus more on Crutches 7-12 (I refer to these as “speaking styles”). As you know, they will also improve your speech, and virtually every one’s. So try to be more passionate (but not over-excited, so watch out for the rate of your speech), use extreme pronunciation, for example, had gestures, keep it short…. To make it short, use these Crutches (without forgetting about the others) 24/7.

Hope this helps!

[Anonymous]

Hi Gabor,

Yes, of course! Remember, you are trying to undo a THIRTY YEAR HABIT!!! You are not suddenly going to wake up after a couple of weeks and just speak beautifully, it takes practice. And by the way, I would like to commend you for your speaking on Saturday, I challenged you to speak in the SAM meeting, and you spoke like an ANGEL!!! All the coaches were raving to me about how great your speech was. You dared yourself to speak in the meetings and you spoke fluently. STOP being so hard on yourself, it takes consistency, discipline and patience!

I remember when I first started curing, my speech was not that great, then I cured and I still did not speak that well. It took a couple of months before I could say “Wow, I spoke really well today”. In fact, sometimes I STILL think to myself that I had a great speech day (my speech is no longer choppy, but there are definitely days where I speak really fast – old habits die hard). Give it about 3 more months and then come back to us and tell us if your speech is still choppy. See you at the SAM meeting this Saturday, and I hope you will speak more and more in them!

[Gábor]

Thanks for the feedback!

It funny because after the last meeting I thought my speech was horrible. Then I watched the recording and, while I didn’t find it exceptional, I thought it was OK. 🙂 (for me, it’s still easier to talk in SAM meetings than in my “offline” world).

[Javier]

Gábor, I know how you feel. We are ususally too hard with ourselves, and especially with our speech, but as you said, you sounded fine to me. And definitely better than the first time we spoke in the Q&A session. So keep working on it!!!

[Adam Werth]

Just a kind polite disagreement to Tasneem’s November 30 post……

I formly believe NO ONE CHOOSES to stutter……….

It’s also saying like we stutter because we want to!!!!

No one wants to stutter…..

I disagree about stuttering being a habit…..

Is being deaf or blind or mute a habid????

[Javier]

There’s a difference between being deaf or blind and being a stutterer, Adam. The first two have that disability all the time. Stutterers (or at least 99% of them) can speak fluently in some situations (when alone, when singing…). This is a big difference, isn’t it? So why does this happen. Because when we’re under pressure, fear stuttering, so we plan our words, and when we do that, we also plan our stutters. I’m sure you don’t do that when you’re singing or when you’re speaking to yourself, alone, am I right? All the people who I’ve coached so far have agreed with me on this.

[Anonymous]

Adam, unfortunately, being deaf and blind are not habits. Oh, how wonderful it would be if they were, as then it would be so easy to “unlearn” being deaf and blind.

[Author]

Posts