Avoiding stutter threats

[Adam Playfoot]

I have been socially withdrawing more and more for 2 years since my speech has gotten worse. I don’t block and don’t stutter that much (thanks to the program) but my real problem is that as soon as I get into a conversation that isn’t with my parents or close friends I experience the worst threats every couple of words and it is very frustrating and contributes to my existential angst. If you saw me speak you would think I am 100% fluent, but what is going in the background is that I am experiencing threat after threat. It makes me want to go out less and hangout with people less knowing I will face so many threats. One thing Lee says in the 3rd edition is that fear and stuttering can be conquered, but threats can always remain. So I beg the answer to my question, is there anyway to possibly reduce the amount of threats I have without avoiding social situations? Maybe using the crutches more will help? Let me know.

[Anonymous]

Hi Adam,

Unfortunately, the only way to reduce fears and threats is by proving to yourself that speaking does not equal fear. As I explained to Sun, right now, your brain has thousands of dysfluent memories, so it thinks SPEAKING = STUTTERING = EMBARRASSING = FEAR TO SPEAK. By using the crutches over and over again, you teach your brain SPEAKING = FLUENCY = CALM = NOT EMBARRASSING = FEAR TO SPEAK UNNECESSARY. Your brain will then stop generating fear when you speak because you have shown it that it is not necessary.

It is kind of like some of the dogs you find at the shelters. When somebody adopts them, it is common to hear about how scared they are of being touched by a human. Why? Because they were probably abused before. So their brain associates touch with pain and therefore the brain generates fear. The human then keeps trying to touch the dog in a warm and loving way and guess what happens? Eventually, the dog starts realizing that touch does NOT equal pain and therefore stops generating fear and the dog even starts to enjoy being touched and cuddled with.

It would not be enough merely to touch the dog once without causing him pain for him to understand that touch does not equal pain, it takes multiple attempts.

In summary, we cannot explain this to our brain, we have to show it through multiple experiences. Does this make any sense?

[Adam Playfoot]

Yes that is very helpful thanks!

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